Mind's Insight

I asked for this. I wanted an out of dullness either way, that is exactly what I got. Shouldn't be complaining. Pleasure out of the suffering, not quite so. At least there is a different mood swing to my weekday monotony. The part I have to figure out is weather I really prefer this over standing in zero. I probably do. May sound utterly masochist, I still wonder why I hold this point of view. Exploring human emotions gives me pleasure. Too bad the best of them I've already gone through. Catching the down rise is a whole different go. Outsiders perspective is what sets you riding again. Sheepishly fooled by a minds game isn't something to pride of. Yet I find myself unexpectedly vulnerable to this kind of situations. My rock solid defence erodes by a simple touch of the biological hormones. Susceptibility is my weak point. Leads me to a point where a single touch can burst my insides to unstoppable flame. So close to destruction my forces feed of the energy provided by a harmonic tune entwined with the fervent emotion. Is it enough? Can it fully recover? I like to think it does. It's all about the connection with the ongoing melody. Desperate, can't compete; you've got me wired. Becoming ashamed of my feeble attempts to set free. Send me another. Roll me another. I can't beat it. There must be a point were you've taken all that can come. All of the sudden the drive is gone. Never unprepared. Give it a go, try me. I'm up to whatever there is to come. I can only learn so much. When the sun shines it only fades out the darkness temporarily, the truth is it's always there. Stakes are getting higher. A little bit of understanding would be enlightening. I'm a stubborn one though, I like to learn my own lesson, having my hard time. Otherwise, how will you ever know for sure. Not keen on assumption. Cold, harsh, mind boggling proof. That is my one addiction. To win big you have to be prepared to lose it all.

Think. This individual represents something, something my mind is psychologically tied to. A prototype. For some reason it sets me on, unlike other cases which just slip. I like the way it feels, my head becomes an excuses industry with the goal of protecting the sole entity of the one in question. My argumentative lobe embraces a duel to death that never actually ends. I saw the good side of him. I keep believing I can find a way to carve it out for myself. The infinite possibilities blind me of the reality. Stubborn as I am I give hope to the situation. Besides the chemicals, the hormones, and drug like substances that run through my body, nothing else seems to link me to it. How can you subdue your body under such influences. Biological issues take me to the most undesirable reactions. That's probably a proper scan of the situation, but still the solution to all remains uncertain.