Whitewater shades flowing through the murky night light

My mind is racing, just rushing to lose control. Take over what's left of me. Leaving me oblivious to my surroundings to the reality, facing autodestruction. The struggle to win gets heavier and the odds are leaving me out, defeated. It's just impossible to think the stage you can get to, the phases you can develop in such subtle passive environment. Unbelievably bewildered, stoked out of my head. Can seem to catch up with the rest, I'm just being left behind. The question remains, what is to expect when you hit rock bottom. I've been peaking up and down and haven't got the best of it just yet. This feeling drives me crazy. I'm in for all or nothing, it scares the hell out of me if I were to give up. Finally let go and crash in solid ground. What would there be left of me. Everyone seems to handle their journey quite well, it's a mystery to me what different scenarios we're put through. Mine seems increasingly relentless sometimes, deceived with an ample colourful cover. Unnerving how it turns out to be when immersed in the story. From an outsiders point of view it dazzles in excitement. I just can seem to connect the sections quite rights. I can't seem to flow through my ride during the sloppy walls. The oceans always finds the way to suck out my weak point, no matter how stable I seem to be riding. Although, some sparkles shine alight at certain points, nothing gets to ignite my flame. Enduring a rough patch is probably your hardest challenge. As for me, I'm not particularly nailing mine. Pressure is getting the best of me. But as it happens continually just when the night gets darker it can only start to lighten up, and precisely that is what keeps me going at this point.