Bombshells

I'm fine. I'm ok. Missing the bombshells. It's all awfully quiet. Nothing under the line. Why would you want a calm sea when you can erode with waves. The stillness makes me anxious, as if something is to come. Nothing comes. Wanting so bad makes you desperate, even more when it's a hard thing to find. Never settled for the lower apples. I keep looking further up in the tree. Once you've taken a bite of the forbiden you'll never get the taste out of your mouth. Wind up expecting.

Distractions. Minor detonators to keep you down for a while. Perhaps it lessens the suspense of the final scene. Is it worth it? Even though I know the answer to that question, patience isn't my gift. The best kind of prize is a surprise, isn't that so. Take me down already if you need to. That way I don't get caught up on wondering, wishing and expecting. I don't mind, just get this weight off my back. What if it never comes. So many years ahead, I know, but the odds don't look very good. My mind is not good dealing with absences, anything that arrives should stay or otherwise drive me crazy. Nothing lasts forever though, so I should start learning to deal with growing voids.

Settle, not settle, pride, desire, self-esteem, anxiousness. So many wishes, which to follow. Is there a right choice? Arguments backing up each one of them. All of them seem so convincing.